So, today unexpectedly, my friend from my past comes into my restaurant and we were chatting about our lives and she mentions that her father passed away this past summer of Leukemia. I of course, think back to June when I was begging for water as I crossed that finish line in the blazing sun knowing that it was all for good. Knowing that I was fighting for a life that I didn't feel was ready to be done. I only wish that I could have run another lifetime to bring her father back. The thought alone just made me feel so helpless and sad.
It really got me thinking..."what was I doing now to make a positive change in people's lives?" "what is my purpose?" I feel that I am living my life selfishly at this point; being in ministry for years really takes the focus off of yourself, being the eldest of 8 sure takes the focus off of yourself... but now I am not in ministry and aside from the occasional phone call, I am pretty much left to run a restaurant, which often seems more like a daycare and run my life. I know that people say, "you should focus on yourself," but what's the fun in that? What is the satisfaction in that?
My Uncle, thankfully has an amazing wife to take care of him and is feeling much better for those who have been following. He is home with the doggies and my Aunt. Praise Jesus that his transplant was a success many months ago...it is a relief.